Monday, July 28, 2008

Novakula had a brain?

Nobody would have ever guessed, since he mostly worked as a stenographer to power transcribing whatever his controllers in the White House told him to say, but apparently Robert "Novakula" Novak actually does have a brain. At least, we must presume so, because he has brain cancer. My bet is that he still doesn't have a reflection in mirrors though...

Which is sad, because if there were any justice, he would be imprisoned in Abu Ghraib Prison to be tortured by the same people whose torture he justified in print. He would have survived torture and remembered it for the rest of his days. You do not, alas, survive brain cancer :-(.

-- Badtux the Vampire-spottin' Penguin

11 comments:

  1. call me the evil reptile

    i dont give a shit what happens to Novak -- he sure didnt when he wrote some of the most heinous columns ever - ask valerie plame - who could have lost her life with his criminal acts

    or some of his other GOP gems

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  2. I cannot find much pity for Novak. But some folks DO survive brain tumors, so don't lose all hope, Badtux.

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  3. they don't have to torture him in abu ghraib. they will let him undergo chemotherapy without access to side effect alleviation from marijuana and limit the level of pain controls open to his doctors.

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  4. "You do not, alas, survive brain cancer :-(."

    I hope that both he and the cancer survive at least for a few years.. Just to be sure that the Karma is working...

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  5. On one hand I can only have sympathy for any human that has develoved cancer . On the other hand , If this SOB is using this as an excuse to escape the penalties of running over a pedestrian and fleeing the scene
    ( as in to magically be cured in a short time ? ), then I hope he rots away slowly . As to his
    ' reporting ' , wasn't his fault people read such trash and believed it . I don't read the " Enquirer " for the same reasons .
    w3ski

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  6. @distributorcap

    ...ask valerie plame - who could have lost her life with his criminal acts...

    It was more then just her life that was put a risk. It was the lives of anyone she, or anyone else who worked for the cover company, had contact with no matter how legitimate or innocent the contact was. I am willing to bet at least 10 people have been tortured to some extent and at least 5 have been killed because of that column.

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  7. ...but apparently Robert "Novakula" Novak actually does have a brain.

    Of course he has a brain. EVERYBODY has a brain. Even BUSH has a brain.

    Now the question of whether or not it actually thinks is a whole different topic.

    Perhaps Novak's brain, like the human body as a whole, has simply become susceptible to disease due to its inactivity. It makes sense if you think of his brain as a couch potato, mindlessly watching Faux News, snacking on Cheetos, and turning to a lump of cellulite.

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  8. I've known folks who had brain cancer. Unfortunately brain cancer isn't karma, it strikes the Teddy Kennedys and the Novakulas of the world as an equal opportunity killer. I really wanted Novakula to undergo the treatment that he had condemned Valerie Plame's sources to -- torture, and, if death, a very painful death with *no* opportunity for pain killers. I wanted justice. Brain cancer... well. That's not justice. That's just death. And a pretty nasty one at that :-(.

    - Badtux the Justice Penguin

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  9. I don't feel sorry for Novak. Not in the least bit. Am I mean?

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  10. Yes, you're mean. But since we're talking about Novakula, you're forgiven :-).

    -- Badtux the Forgiving Penguin

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  11. I hope Novakula lives long enough to gain some insight as to the evil of his ways, but at this point in his life, his character is probably set in stone, so it's unlikely. When Lee Atwater was carking it from the same cause, I've heard (perhaps an apocraphyl story) that he did regret his divisive, Willie Hortoning ways. So even if you hate Novak, hope that he reforms and achieves "bodhi," the Buddhist word for "wisdom."

    That, or he comes back as a cockroach that one of us can smash with a brick. (If they're outddoors, I prefer to smash 'em halfway so they can drag their pitiful exoskeletons around for a while before expiring.)

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