Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Wisconsin hunter wants some pussy

A Wisconsin hunter named Mark Smith, fed up that he isn't getting some pussy, has asked the Department of Natural Resources for an open season on hunting pussy with a gun. He says that pussy eats millions of birds every year (man, that's some super pussy!) and thus deserves him coming after it with a shotgun. Pussy lovers everywhere, meanwhile, are utterly outraged, saying that if Mr. Smith wants some pussy, he should go get some beaver magazines or something. Those liberal pussy lovers keep chanting, "make love, not dinner".

Mr. Smith, in the meantime, insists that pussy tastes "just like chicken".

It is unknown whether Mr. Smith is married, or, if he is, what his wife thinks about his proposal for open season on pussy. It is presumed that if Mr. Smith is married at present, he will either have a seriously flattened head as an iron skillet descends upon it, or shall not be married by the time this reporter clicks on 'Publish Post'.

That's all the news that counts for today...

- Badtux the Reporter Penguin

PS: Bonus pussy on the right! Whoohoo!

5 comments:

  1. Perhaps you should send ace reporter, Jeff Gannon, to do some location reporting for you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mr. Gannon is no good when it comes to pussy. That's not the way his barndoor swings, if y'know what I mean.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ghost and Tux and The Heretik all alone in comment land? Oy. Thanks to both of you for your support. Tux, I am pulling the great Sophie out again for Women's Month. If you have any leads on other than usual places for quotes, please let me know. Thanks. Fight on, my phantasmic and flippered friends!

    ReplyDelete
  4. jeff gannon recently said on his new website that maureen dowd needs a little "jeff gannon, if you know what i mean."

    we thought a perfect response for ms. dowd would be, "no, thanks, jeff, i prefer heterosexual men!"

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ser Heretik, my posting schedule is too erratic for a large number of people to bother perusing this blog every ten minutes (snark is hard work, and I already have a 12-hour-a-day job). As for Mo Dowd needing a little "jeff gannon", nice of Jeff to verify for the world that his Gannon is little. I suppose that rather than people saying to him, "are you happy to see me or is that a Gannon in your pocket?", they instead say to him "are you happy to see me or is that a paperclip in your pocket?" Indeed...

    ReplyDelete

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