Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Like East Germany, only nuttier

Welcome, fellow inmates of Soviet America. In today's news, here's something you did not hear about, except maybe gloatingly on some white-wing web site or buried deep inside a tiny 2-inch side column in the middle of the A-section of your newspaper.

Like our forefathers in East Germany, we are regularly spied upon by our very efficient police agencies, with our every phone call monitored for disturbing content (do not mention the words "terrorist" or "bomb" in your phone calls unless you desire a visit from men wearing black suits). Like in East Germany, soon one shall need to register with The State if you want a phone. And we, too, have a wall at our border, albeit a very porous one intended to keep people out, rather than in.

And, like the former East Germany, we shoot people who cross the wall. If one shot doesn't kill the crosser, why, we shoot him twice. And if he's a kid, why, no big deal. Sergio Adrian Hernandez Huereca was 14 years old, but he's just as dead as if he'd been 34.

According to the witnesses, some Mexican boys were under the bridge in Ciudad Juarez, without wearing backpacks or anything (i.e., they were *not* part of a group crossing the border to stay in America), they were running over onto the American side of the border and back again, taunting the border patrol agents on the other side of the border. The kids started throwing rocks, and one of the border patrol agents opened fire, killing young Sergio on the other side of the border. And on right-wing hate sites everywhere, white-wingers gloat.

At which point I say... wow. Just wow. Look. When I was a kid, we were sort of like the "Little Rascals" gang in our neighborhood, and would have rock fights with the rival gang across the bayou. But none of us ever thought of actually *shooting* at the folks throwing rocks at us. No, we simply threw rocks *back* at them! Wow, what a concept... proportionate force! Wow, I should have been thinking like a Border Patrol agent, and actually shot one of those kids throwing rocks at us. Oh wait, if I'd done that, I would have been sent to jail for life. Oops, my bad, I forgot, there's two laws in Soviet America -- one for the Stasi 2.0, and one for the rest of us. But that's okay, because here in Soviet America we have Freedom(tm), and beside, it was an unseemly darky that died, not a good upstanding tighty whitey, and darkies don't count as real people so it wasn't *really* murder. Alrighty, then!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin


  1. The BP goon couldn't Taze him because those Mexicans use a different current on the other side of the border. Right?

  2. Exciting times.

    Thanks for covering this truly new American blasphemy. It's the first I heard of it.

    And I hear Blanche Lincoln probably stole the election from Halter.


  3. Fark! I find myself agreeing with Bob Barr on the pre-paid phone issue. I must be wrong...

    When I moved to Australia, I bought one of those. Not because I was a criminal, but because I was living in temporary digs while I waited for Mrs. Bukko to sell the house and move Down Under, so I couldn't get a land line. Got it from the government, even, at an Australia Post office. We bought one in Europe one trip to call ahead and make restaurant reservations. We almost had to purchase a pre-paid in Canada, because as immigrants with no credit record in this country, they would not sell us a cell on a contract, even when we were willing to sign up with a perfectly valid U.S. credit card to guarantee payment. In the end, we just decided "Fuck your fucking cell phones, we'll just fucking well go without one." And our lives have gone perfectly fine.

    Barr's right -- idiots like Schumer and Cornyn will restrict the freedom of millions of innocent people just because the Times Square FailBomber used an anonymous cell phone. REAL criminals will find a way to dial anonymously with things like stolen phones. Tourists and others, they're just screwed. Business declines, America comes across to people as more hostile. New USSR it is.

    As for the shooting, when I was a teenager, I hated cops. I was mostly law-abiding, but they were authority figures, so I detested them. One time outside a bowling alley, I thought I'd have some fun, so when a cop car drove by, I pointed at him and ran away. Fugger jumped out, chased me down and was mighty disturbed when I told him I that I didn't do anything, I was just having some fun. That was in the mid-70s. Nowdays, he would have beaten me down, Tazed me or just shot my ass dead.

    America -- Freedumb's Land indeed.

  4. I bought a prepaid phone cuz I hardly ever use a phone and it's cheaper for me that way.

    I had my land line number transferred to it and dropped my land line. So instead of paying about 22 bucks a month to Quest I now pay about 8.50 a month for the cell phone service to keep the minutes.

    I now have over 60 bucks in past minutes built up, maybe I should call someone, na, screw that, I'll send an email.

  5. I know I've fallen down rabbit hole when Bob Barr is the voice of reason.

    Jeebus - even BBC is making sense.

    Where the hell am I?



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