Get your kicks by beating people with a baseball bat? Love shooting people as they lay on the ground restrained by your fellow thugs? But you're not willing to go to jail to get your woodies on? Don't despair! Join your local police force! Then you can beat anybody you want to beat, anytime you want to beat him, for as long as you want to beat him, and pay no price at all -- as long as you select an appropriate victim such as a mentally ill veteran. Feel like using a high-tech cattle prod to electrocute someone for hopping over a subway gate? Never fear, being a member of your local transit police lets you do that anytime you wish! Beating and cattle prodding people doesn't get your pecker hard enough? Want to actually kill people? Don't worry, as long as the person you kill is black and you practice saying "I thought he had a gun!" and crying on demand for long enough, you'll never see a day in jail.
So, all you thugs and bullies out there: Now you know how to be a thug and bully -- and get away with it! What a deal! For you. Not for the rest of us little people, but hey, we're just the sheep, to be culled by you at will, right? Right?!
-- Badtux the Sovok Penguin