Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Goldilocks and the Three Computers

Goldilocks was bored. She'd scored a lot of loot recently and was looking for a bit of a break, so she booked a flight to the Bahamas. While looking for a computer to carry on an airline for doing regular email and Internet access and post the occasional photo to the Internet she broke into this little apartment in San Jose. And what, then, did she see but three computers, all in a row? So she tried the one on the left, and it was too big. She tried the one on the right, and it was too small. And she tried the Acer Aspire One 10" laptop in the middle, and it was just right.

Then the owner of the apartment came home, shot her dead with his .357 Magnum, and everybody lived happily ever after. Except for Goldilocks the Burglar, of course. She did make a beautiful corpse though... -- Badtux the Fiction Penguin


  1. Is this from your book to be or some kind of "expected problem" ?
    Personally I have a real dislike of thieves . My 2 Saint Benards and smaller cattle dog think they taste like chicken .
    I'd use a gun on whatever was left , mercy killing and all .
    a serious w3ski

  2. Nah, I had the photo of the three computers because I was going to talk about how the Acer Aspire One inbetween the big and little computers was just right size-wise if you're looking for the smallest usable UMPC (Ultra-Mobile PC), and immediately Goldilock and the Three Computers came to mind. So of course I had to figure out, how did Goldilocks get into this picture? Being a somewhat bloody-minded writer of mysteries, well, it was clear that she broke in. And when the bears catch Goldilocks... well. Carnage. No happily ever after in this short-short story :-).

    All of this went through my head literally within one minute of seeing the photo. Be scared. Be very scared :-).

    -- Badtux the Not-serious Penguin

  3. On a less bloody-minded note, I right now have to decide between a netbook and an iPhone. Or possibly another 3G phone.

    If only the guys at Cupertino could bring themselves to making a ultra-portable Mac Book :( MB Air is nice, but still far too big.

    But, tell you what I want, what I really really want: Can I please have a Newton-sized Iphone with HWR?

    Ok, I know the answer to that one :(

    Ducki, still searching for the portable solution for me ;)

  4. You need more details. For instance, was that a six inch barreled .357, or was it a two inch? Were you firing hollow points, full metal jacket, or wad cutters? Inquiring minds want to know! :-)


  5. Is that towel from the LA County Coroner's Office Gift Shop? (And, yes, they really DO have one... I almost crapped when I found out about it. No goodies like repros of famous toe tags, tho)

  6. Duck, depends on what you want to do. My iPhone is okay for a quick note via WiFi or 3G and much lighter than a UMPC. If I want to type something slightly longer the on-screen keyboard is a bit slow and cumbersome though. I've come to the conclusion that my wee eee's keyboard isn't much better, and my eee 900 is just too darned slow when running Windows (quite fast running Linux though). Thus why I got the Acer Aspire One 10" laptop, it runs Windows XP quite well and the keyboard works fine for my big fat fingers.

    Dave: 4 inch barrel, hollow points, regular Magnum load (not HP, too much kick for that short of a barrel to easily maintain on target). Satisfied? :-)

    Mr. 618, I wouldn't doubt it :-). All I know is I went out looking for photos of corpses to illustrate the story, and decided on something a bit less... bloody. Thus said towel, which I came across while doing this search.

    - Badtux the Bloggy Penguin


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