Monday, February 26, 2007

Can a fat man with bad hair win the Presidency?

The most qualified candidate currently in the race for President is a fat man with bad hair who has a penchant for getting speeding tickets and who loves to eat. And who, BTW, would probably bring most of the Western states with him and thus guarantee the Presidency to the Democratic Party (15,000 votes in Nevada and 100,000 votes in Colorado would have made Kerry President). F**k the South. John Edwards couldn't win his own home state of North Carolina in 2004, the chances of any Democratic "Southern strategy" working is nil. Anybody in the South with any brains has already left. (Case in point: ME). The South will be solid Republican for the foreseeable future. It's time to pursue a Western Strategy, and this candidate has been very successful at that, completely trouncing the Republican candidate in his last race for governor with 67% of the vote despite the fact that Bush won his state in that very same election.

Sadly, though, I doubt that Bill Richardson has a chance. As the election of George W. Bush proves, being smart and qualified means nothing in politics today. It's all about appearances and superficiality. A fat man with bad hair will win the Presidency sometime after hell freezes over...

-- Badtux the Cynical Penguin


  1. Gosh, another one to look at.

    My strategy this time around is to read all the politicians speechs I can get off the net.

    Pretty interesting really.

    If you find good speechs link me up!

  2. I think Richardson's electability will come down to whether or not he can swing the coveted endorsement of Teh Gay Agenda. If he does, than he can just bring TGA onstage with him at his press conference to shoot his Gay Laser of Gayness into the television cameras, instantly turning the entire nation Gayer than the Gay Mayor of Gaytown. Then the election's in the bag!

    So to speak.

  3. Well, Gerald, it appears that Bill has The Gay Agenda's endorsement locked up. Seems that as governor of New Mexico, he issued an executive order giving the same benefits to the partners of gay state employees that partners of straight state employees got. As a result, New Mexico started smelling of fire and brimstone and everybody in New Mexico turned into a pillar of salt. Or something like that, I'm having problems translating from World Nut Daily-ese into English :-).

    So anyhow, watch for a big lunk in fashionable pastel tights at the next Bill Richardson press conference, Teh Gay Agenda is in da house!

    - Badtux the Snarky Penguin

  4. i've seen him several times on democracy now...he certainly is the best candidate we have right now...

    thanks for the web site!

  5. If I could choose anyone, Richardson would be on my (very) short list. But the appearance thing comes in with casual voters. "I don't know the issues or the people, or the difference between a US and a state senator, but it's my duty to vote."

  6. of course, at this stage of the game there was a little known (less well known than richardson is right now) governor from georgia named jimmy carter. bill clinton was also a dead laster before he made his run. there's a real chance that hillary and obama punch themselves out, edwards remains the mincing non-entity he is and richardson (unless gore wakes up some morning in an alpha dog mood) takes it by merely remaining on the field.


Ground rules: Comments that consist solely of insults, fact-free talking points, are off-topic, or simply spam the same argument over and over will be deleted. The penguin is the only one allowed to be an ass here. All viewpoints, however, are welcomed, even if I disagree vehemently with you.

WARNING: You are entitled to create your own arguments, but you are NOT entitled to create your own facts. If you spew scientific denialism, or insist that the sky is purple, or otherwise insist that your made-up universe of pink unicorns and cotton candy trees is "real", well -- expect the banhammer.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.