Thursday, May 19, 2011

Know your Labs

I had a dog when I was a kid, he was some sort of Lab / Pointer mix. He looked like a Lab though. He did enjoy fetching sticks and stuff, but he'd never actually drop them at my feet to be thrown again, he'd just run around in circles with the stick in his mouth. So one day I noticed the bread in the kitchen was old and expired, and decided to toss it. We lived in a townhouse complex that year that had a water retention pond along most of its length, and I decided to feed the ducks. And the idiot dog came along with me, of course. So I tossed a piece of bread into the pond towards the ducks, and... the dog jumped into the pond after the bread. And then started thrashing around in circles like a drowning man. I'm, like, "You got to be kidding. What kind of dog can't even dog-paddle?" But he started going under, and after a few seconds of thought I jumped in and pulled that idiot dog out.

To say I was greatly annoyed is an understatement. I had to go home and strip and shower to get that bayou stink off of me and put on some clean clothes, and meanwhile damp dog was cowering in the back yard. So I guess the question that has baffled me ever since is this: What kind of Lab doesn't know how to swim?

Recently I found an answer to that question...

The one on the bottom right, yo.

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin


  1. Hehehehehehe!!! Aaaaahahahahahaha!! Wish I could think of something really funny to say but everytime I look at that picture, I start laughing again. Hahahahahaha!!

  2. I usedta have the same moral dilemma with my Dalmatian when we lived in Florida. He was a great swimmer, and often plunged into this lake where I'd walk him, trying to paddle out to try and catch the waterfowl swimming there. (No matter how many times he saw the ducks fly away when he got too close, it never dawned on him that he'd never succeed.) There was always a resident alligator in this lake, and a couple of times, it drew a bead on the dog and went swimming toward him.

    My dilemma was whether I'd plunge in to wrestle the alligator if it ever got its jaws on the dog. I probably would have if it was going down near the shore. But any farther out, well, the dog killed a lot of snakes and the occasional raccoon, turtle and unwary bird, so I reckoned it would be the balance of nature evening things out. Luckily, my moral reflexes were never put to the test before we moved to Cali.

  3. Many years ago when I was on a college swimming team we went to the local river for some reason & swam across. Halfway across I encountered a german shepherd, obviously in distress. I escorted him/her back to the shore, whereupon it's dickhead "owner" simply walked up & walked away with him. No thank you, no acknowledgment that his dog came close to dying. Fucking people.


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