As you know, all the real Christians got raptured an hour or so ago. So now it's the Time of Tribulations, where all us heathen who didn't float into the sky like balloons are going to experience a time of horror and tribulation. And it's already started for me. Why, I just walked out of Bed Bath And Beyond and found... a flat tire! Yes, a flat tire, with a gigantic screw in its tread! The horror, oh the horror!
And so, to console myself that I was not amongst the half-dozen true Christians who were raptured today, I now am eating a large pastrami sandwich. On rye. With pepperjack cheese (fresh sliced off a big hunk of cheese), dill pickle slices, jalapeno slices, and salad. Yum.
-- Badtux the Trembling-in-terror Penguin