Friday, May 06, 2011

Florida needs a new tourism video

Because the old one is no longer operative:

After three tries and a series of scandals, anti-bestiality bill *finally* passes in Florida. Assuming Governor Rick Scott signs it (not guaranteed), Floridians will have to figure out some other way to attract tourists to their state, because all the animal tourism tourists will be going to Alabama.

Apparently, in Florida, "My Pet Goat" has traditionally been interpreted as a sexual act done with goats and is filed in the "Adult" section of the library. Florida has traditionally been a place where men are men and chihuahuas are scared. But it seems those good old days in Florida when horses had to be skittish are over. And Neal Horsley weeps.

In other news, Florida has decided to join the twentieth century. There have been discussions about joining the twenty-first century, but apparently that scared too many old people, who are suspicious of any technology newer than the 1957 Edsel. In forty years, maybe... but at least they're considering a new state slogan. "Florida--where men are men and goats are breathing a sigh of relief." Catchy, isn't it?

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin


  1. The story you linked to does not explain WHY Flori-duh had such a hard time making man-on-dog sex illegal. Any ideas? Was it because it infringed on some batshitwingnut idea of "freeduhm"? Did the batwingshitnuts think it was a secret ploy to outlaw making animals into meat so that eeeeeeevil libruls would make everyone in Floridoomed turn into vegans? Did Rick Manondog Santorum fail to come down and lobby for it? Do lots of Florida legislators like to fuck goats? What gives?

    I lived in Florida for 15 years straight, (1987-2002) the longest period I've spent in any one jurisdiction. I liked it OK, because I felt smarter than almost everyone around me, but Mrs. Bukko hated it even more than she detested Australia. It's something about those southern places for her...

  2. Manon dog? What does this story have to do with French opéra comique?

  3. Bukko, I have no explanation for that, any more than I have an explanation for why these sickos do it with animals in the first place. Do they not have hands?!

    Steve, you'll have to ask that question of Rick Santorum. Who *completely* icked out a lady reporter by bringing man-on-dog sex into a discussion of why Li'l Ricky hatez him teh Gay.

    - Badtux the Snarky Penguin

  4. Bates makes a good point, but me thinks it much ado about a magic flute and Anita Bryant.


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