Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Haunting of Penguin's Iceberg

If you were going to be haunted by a ghost, whose ghost would be your worst nightmare?

My selection: Milton Friedman. As I tried to sleep at night, he'd be nattering on about how public schools are socialism and should be abolished. As I showered in the morning, he'd be droning on about why Social Security should be privatized. When I got home in the evening and was trying to cook dinner, he'd be nattering along about how local regulations banning trans-fats in fried foods were Big Brother and a violation of people's right to kill themselves eating substances that they don't know are in the foods they're eating.

My guess is that I wouldn't last more than a few days before having a nervous breakdown. The cops would catch me running down the street, throwing random objects at something they can't see while shouting "Shut up! Just *SHUT UP!*" and I'd be in the loony bin faster than you can say "penguin".

Now, granted, there's other candidates. Like the crazy ex-girlfriend. At least Milty's ghost would never ask, "does this sheet make me look fat?" But still, I can't think that she would be any more annoying dead than alive... and unlike live Milton Friedman, who I could simply tune out by shutting my door in his face or turning the TV off when he appeared on one of the stuffed shirt shows, dead Milton Friedman could walk through walls. The horror, oh the horror!

-- Badtux the Irreverant Penguin

Do not stare into those eyes, for if you do, the insanity shall swallow you whole!


  1. Oh but think of all of the fun you could have! You could ask him all kinds of interesting questions and then watch him go nuts. Things like, "Even if GDP rises, is it really a sign of success if all of the gains are going to the upper classes while the people on the bottom get nothing?"

    I am sure you could think of better questions but imagine the fun you could have. Also fun would be to be haunted by Ronald Reagan's ghost to watch him try to explain the benefits of supply side economics even though it clearly hasn't worked.

  2. Mine would be Aynus Rand's ghost. It would be saying all the same stupid shit, only in a screechy female voice.

  3. Ouch. Yeah, Ayn Rand's ghost would be bad. Add in the inevitable question, "Does this sheet make me look fat?" and the screeching that follows... Oh my. Still, Ayn was so obviously batshit crazy (to anybody but her sycophants) that it would be hard to take her seriously as a ghost, while Unca Milty... well. So I'm sticking with Milty as my least favorite ghost :).

    - Badtux the Haunting Penguin

  4. I, too, pictured Reagan. With the same practiced, saccharine smile, now with authentic joy at seeing the economic devastation he caused. And how it hasn't caused the whole country to hate him in the way that he deserves.

  5. How can you overlook Alan Greenspan?

    Oh -- wait . . . He's not dead.

    He is 85, though . . .

    I aint 'fraid o' no ghost


Ground rules: Comments that consist solely of insults, fact-free talking points, are off-topic, or simply spam the same argument over and over will be deleted. The penguin is the only one allowed to be an ass here. All viewpoints, however, are welcomed, even if I disagree vehemently with you.

WARNING: You are entitled to create your own arguments, but you are NOT entitled to create your own facts. If you spew scientific denialism, or insist that the sky is purple, or otherwise insist that your made-up universe of pink unicorns and cotton candy trees is "real", well -- expect the banhammer.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.