Monday, May 16, 2005

New front in War on Fun(tm): Hugs

Yes, hugs.

It is clear that hugs are evil, because they make people feel good. Things that make people feel good are inventions of Satan. All people should go around with a sourpuss expression on their mouths looking for ways to make others miserable, just like this guy does. Thus I applaud the Bend-La Pine School district in Bend, Oregon, for banning hugs. I mean, come on. If they allowed hugs, what next? Smiles? Joy? LAUGHTER?! Oh the horror!

And let's not forget about that ban on holding hands in school. That's especially evil. Because if two people who like each other a whole lot hold hands, they might be HAPPY! Which is WRONG. No no, these children must be made to feel as bitter and burned out and hateful and cynical as us adults, or else we'll ALL FEEL BAD about being such bitter, burned out, cynical and hateful people. And we can't have that, can we?!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

2 comments:

  1. Laughter is next.
    Being Christian is no laughing matter. The end times may be near and if you're laughing you might miss out on the rapture.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jerry did this bit about the fine and good Reverand Moon needing to be kicked out of this fine country.

    Then at a later date the fine and good Reverand Moon bailed Jerry's school out of financial troubles along with Jerry.

    Now Jerry sees nothing wrong at all with being seen next to the good and fine Reverand Moon who just happens to believe he is the second coming of the messiah.

    Not all of us Southern Baptist believe the doctrines of the hatemongers and fools on podiums. Many of us were told to expect many false prophets. False prophets who say they are God or Jesus or both and aren't. Seems Jerry forgot those lessons the book he thumps on soo often teaches. Or at least for a big bag of money. For a big bag of money Jerry will stand next to Satan.

    And don't forget the fine and good Reverand Moon's connections to the Bush family and many of the current Right Wing Christian organizations out there. Don't any of these people actually read the Bible?

    IXLNXS

    ReplyDelete

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