The self-described Prince of Darkness, Pentagon specialist Paul Wolfowitz, has been nominated by President Bush to lead the World Bank. Now here's the question: is Wolfowitz, all of whose jobs have been in the Pentagon or in intelligence agencies, qualified to lead the World Bank? To help you figure this one out, this penguin has put together this handy-dandy comparison chart of each candidate's qualifications:
| Wolfowitz | Bozo the Clown | |
|---|---|---|
| Banking experience: | Once walked into a bank lobby as a customer | Balances his bank account on the tip of his nose. |
| Economics knowledge: | Stated that the Iraqi oil would pay for all of the costs of the war in Iraq. | Knows you don't spend money you don't have |
| Business school training: | None | Clown School |
| Accounting experience: | None | Counts the number of balls in the air while he juggles |
| People skills: | Scares the shit out of anybody who knows him | Everybody loves Bozo |
Yessiree, scientific proof for one and all: Bozo the Clown is *MORE* qualified than Paul Wolfowitz to be head of the World Bank. At least Bozo finished Clown School!
- Badtux the Snarky Penguin
Dear Sir:
ReplyDeleteWe at the law firm of Cheatem, Dewey, and Howe must strongly object to your use of our client, Bozo the Clown, as an object of comparison to Paul Wolfowitz. We believe that comparing our client to the Prince of Darkness is de jure libel due to the stain of evil that inevitably accompanies any mention of Mr. Wolfowitz. We demand that you find some other clown to use. Was Ronald McDonald unavailable?
Sincerely,
Mr. Loveto Cheatem,
Law firm of Cheatem, Dewey, and Howe
Dear Mr. Cheatem,
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. Unfortunately, Ronald McDonald's lawyers are much better paid than yours. Sorry!
Sincerely,
Badtux the Snarky Penguin