I am depressed. 60% of my fellow Americans think torture is a right jolly idea, our Congress duly rubber stamps it, Iraq is still a horrible horrible mess where innocents die every day thanks to our Dear Leader's crusade, American "culture" continues debasing itself to the lowest common denominator, our infrastructure is collapsing, our health care system continues to degrade to third-world levels, and nobody cares except us few lunatics out here trying to bring sanity to a pack of screeching howling feces-flinging chimpanzees with less brain than my stupid nose-licking cat. Enough. I've had it. It's time to end it all. Time to finally do the deed: Put the pizza in the oven.
For a short time, at least, I will be in a world of hand-tossed pizza dough topped with the finest of toppings -- three kinds of cheeses, pepperoni, jalapenos, and a tasty well-spiced sauce. My home will be filled with the smell of tasty dough cooked in an oven atop a prime pizza pan designed to emulate the effects of flame-fired ovens. I will go to bed a happy penguin, if a bit more rotund.
Then I will wake up in the morning, and be back in the real world again.
Good night, and may your dreams be of pepperoni, not of the insane world that we've helped make.
-- Badtux the Pepperoni-smelling Penguin
Jesus's General announces the victory of the Great Patriotic Cultural Revolution too...