We now have scientific proof that an upcoming exam in college causes the death of grannies. Especially if the student currently has an "F" in the course.
The most realistic solution to the murder of family members by exams (only allow orphans to enroll in college) was discarded as unworkable due to the shortage of orphans. The other possible solutions (keep secret the fact that the student is at college, eliminate exams altogether) were discarded as unworkable due to the difficulty of teenagers keeping anything secret, and the economic effects of discarding exams, which would cause the collapse of the paper industry (amongst others).
In other news, t-shirts at work cause Fridays. I know this because every time I wear a t-shirt to work, it is Friday, with a 100% correlation rate. Remember, correlation = causation, that is a fundamental law of statistics!
- Badtux the Snarky Penguin
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