Dead babies in Afghanistan

So the Afghan government says "your bombs killed 70 civilians when you bombed one of our villages" and the U.S. Army says "no, we only killed seven civilians, everybody else was a terrorist." Only problem is, this is the 21st century. Everybody has a cell phone. And almost all of these cell phones have the ability to make movies. There's video of the bodies of 11 dead children laid out in the village square in the aftermath of the bombing. I guess four of those dead children were actually terrorists, whoa, beware the baby rattles of mass destruction!

Actually, the problem is that you have soldiers doing the job of policemen in the first place. The job of a soldier is to kill people, and to kill them with as little loss to his own side as possible. Overwhelming force is, and always has been, the way to do that. That's a soldier's job -- making people die. Asking a soldier to be a policeman is like asking a pit bull to be a babysitter. The results are simply tragic.

Think about that in the context of having soldiers do jobs like, e.g., border enforcement. The inevitable result of that would be a lot of dead civilians. I simply do not understand why it is that people think a soldier is a policeman and can do a policeman's job. I suppose it's a steady diet of war movies growing up where soldiers are honorable and only kill the enemy, not civilians. But those are movies. Fiction. Lies. Not real. Sadly, today nobody knows the difference between their delusions and reality, because they're buried in lies so much...

- Badtux the Fictional Penguin

John McCain's health care proposal: "Don't get sick"

John McCain would not be covered by his very own health care plan. John McCain, as a four-time cancer survivor, would not be eligible for coverage by the private insurance plans that he is pushing as the "solution" to the health care crisis in America.

More to the point, over 56 million Americans who are currently covered but who have, or have had in the past, chronic health care conditions, would lose their coverage under McCain's plan.

Yessiree, this is truly "change"! McCain ain't lyin' about that! But is this the sort of change that you can believe in? I think not... but then again, John McCain was a POW so we have to vote for him or, like, the Commies have won! Or somethin'. Alrighty, then!

-- Badtux the Health Care Penguin

Andrew Sullivan notice the horse head on his pillow

Andrew notices that our police forces look an aweful lot like the black-clad goon squads of Nazi Germany nowdays: If you aren't creeped out by what has been going on these past two weeks in America, you are not paying attention.

Uhm, Andrew... how about *FORTY YEARS*? What's with this "two weeks" shit? The same goddamned shit happened in 1968 at the DNC in Chicago, complete with show trials afterwards of the "instigators" of the "hippie riots". And it's happened time after time since then, whether we're talking about the police riot in Seattle in 1999, or the RNC convention in NYC in 2004. But I guess when it happens to those "damn hippies", it doesn't count -- until suddenly the Busheviks classify you as one of those "damn hippies". Sigh.

-- Badtux the Observant Penguin
Below: 1999 WTO "riot".

Better-dressed guests at Jerry Springer show

Ooky. The Palin family truly does look like your typical Jerry Springer guests once you take the blindfold off, if you ignore the fact they're better-dressed than the typical Jerry Springer ilk. You almost expect to see Sarah bitch-slapping Bristol and calling her a whore for getting pregnant with "that boy".

Also ooky is the constant Republican branding of Palin as a MILF, meaning "Mother I would Like to F***". Sex with a Republican politician is like sex with a snake -- it's kinda ooky and likely to come back to bite you. There's a reason why Republican politicians end up toe-tapping for sex in gay glory holes or hauling buses full of out-of-town whores to their conventions. Politicians are either nice folks who are as dumb as rocks (thinking a particular representative from San Diego here, can anybody say "Duncan Hunter"?), or they're slimy vicious creatures that nobody in their right mind would want to bed. Given Palin's self-description of "pit bull with lipstick", uhm... somehow I think "nice folks" don't apply here.

But then, I suppose when we're talking about folks who fantasize about sex with mules and dogs and box turtles and ducks and pigs and goats, i.e., Republicans, fantasizing about sex with a snake (or a "pit bull with lipstick", whatever) is no big deal...

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Seven years

On September 11, 2001, terrorists in the employ of one Osama bin Laden killed thousands of Americans. On September 11, 2008, Osama bin Laden still walks this Earth as a free man, while most of the resources that could be used to catch his evil ass are stuck in the world's biggest catbox (the Mess in Mesopotamia).

If there is anything that summarizes Republican rule of the United States, it is this. Not even the most elementary of things -- bringing one man to justice -- appears possible for the Bush Administration and the Republicans in Congress who rubber-stamp everything for Bush, one of whom, remember, is John McCain, who has voted with Bush over 90% of the time. Yet the American public appears ready to reward failure with four more years.

H.L. Mencken once said, "Democracy is the notion that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard." Previously on this blog, I've posited that it will take nothing less than complete and utter national disaster on the level of the Great Depression, with 40% unemployment, food riots, massive Hoovervilles, etc., to wake Americans up to the notion that their current mean-spirited, short-sighted, brutal and selfish path is a dead end. Sadly, it appears we are both being vindicated by current events.

-- Badtux the Somber Penguin

Any male automatically flinches

And this one...

-- Badtux the Ouch Penguin

Hmm, I've seen this play before...

Apparently, Karzai is how you spell Thieu in Pashtun...

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Over at Moto-Tux...

I explain why C-clip axles are evil.

-- Badtux the Wrenchin' Penguin

U.S. health care system continues its collapse

Few med school doctors entering primary care. They can't afford it, between the insurance companies ripping doctors off, Medicare ripping doctors off, and the hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt needed to complete medical school nowdays. Folks talk about waiting lists in Canada. But in much of the United States, you have waiting lists *now*, I could not get in to see any primary care physician on my provider's list in less than two weeks time when I lived in Phoenix.

Of course, there is a market-based mechanism available to deal with this: Just issue federal student loan debt forgiveness to any student who a) specializes in primary care at medical school, and b) practices primary care for at least five years, with no payments due for as long as he practices primary care. You'd see youngsters rushing to specialize in primary care big-time then. But that would be "socialism". In some alternate universe. Alrighty, then!

-- Badtux the Health Care Penguin

In Soviet America all citizens are equal, but some are more equal than others

And if you happen to be a U.S. Army veteran born in South Texas to a Mexican mother with a Texas birth certificate attesting to your birth, sorry, you don't get the same rights as other Americans. You're a second-class citizen, because only good upstanding white people born in hospitals are real citizens.

Alrighty, then!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

OMG! Terrierists!

Department of Vaterland Security Skeletor appeared at a press conference today and says, OMG, there's a big chance of terrier attacks as the 7th anniversary of 9/11 comes up! (And BTW, that's seven years -- *SEVEN YEARS* -- that Osama bin Laden has gotten away scot-free for killing thousands of Americans, rather than all American resources being used to bring that scumbag to justice instead they're being dumped into the world's biggest catbox i.e. the Mess in Mesopotamia). I wonder, is there an election coming up or somethin'?

But then I remember that I have my own built-in terrier defenses at home (called "Mencken" and "Fang"), and feel relieved. Here is an example of this crack terrier defense system in action:

Errm... perhaps I should be a bit more worried after all...

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

A misunderstanding of the role of a defense attorney

The NY Daily News reports on a defense attorney whose thuggish client beat a guy to death. The defense attorney raises the claim that his client was attacked by the guy and that the guy was drunk, and that his client did not commit the injuries that caused the guy's death. People are outraged.

Folks, this is the job of a defense attorney. He's supposed to raise a defense, no matter how ludicrous. If not, the case gets thrown out as a mistrial upon appeal and we get to do the whole damned thing all over again. Now, what if your client is a total dick and there are a half dozen witnesses against him? Well, you do like this defense attorney is doing. You raise a ridiculous defense, make sure your client shows up in court looking like a total thug instead of all cleaned up, the jury giggles at your ridiculous defense and finds your client guilty with about 30 minutes total of deliberation most of which is spent chatting and finishing up the snacks in the jury room, and justice is served.

So don't blame the lawyer here. He's just doing his job of offering a defense. In the U.S. system, if he doesn't offer a defense, the perp goes free. That's just how it works. Now, in this case he doesn't have a helluva lot to work with, so his defense is, well, ridiculous. But it's the job of the judge and jury to laugh and find the perp guilty anyhow, not the defense attorney's job. The defense attorney's job is to offer what little defense he can of the indefensible, no matter how lame that defense may be.

-- Badtux the Law Penguin

OMG I got defense against terrierists!

Here, in a super-secret training film, is one of our brave defenders of the nation defending our nation from those nasty terrier attacks:

I feel safer already. Vaterland Security Secretary Skeletor (and Doctor Princess), I salute you for pointing out that I already had terrier defenses in my home!

-- Badtux the Youtubing Penguin
Yes, *really* going whole-hog on the YouTube!

U.S. weighs action against Russia

U.S. officials say they are going to weigh additional actions against Russia in retaliation for their actions in Georgia. Now, effective action against a nuclear-armed state over a small nation of no particular strategic or economic importance to the United States is difficult, but our brave Bush Administration officials in Washington D.C. are up to the challenge. Here is video footage of the proposed actions:

Oh no, not the comfy chair!

-- Badtux the Youtubery Penguin
Okay, so I really *am* having too much fun with the YouTube today eh?

There's terriers under your sofa!

Quick! Run! Hide! Cringe in fear! There's terriers under your bed who want to sneak into our bedrooms at night and kill us all! Remember, citizen, it is your duty to be terrified upon command. If you refuse to be terrified, if you refuse to vote for Republicans to protect you from those bad, bad terrierists, why, the terrorists will win!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

How *not* to treat a golf cart

We have ourselves our very own histerical society out here in the Southwest. Here they are, making histery. (Note: Mis-spellings on purpose).

-- Badtux the Dirt Racin' Penguin

Working a horse

The girl is ten years old. The horse is recovering from an injury and her legs are a little tender. Reminds me of M.B. saying in my review of The Horse Whisperer that tug 'o' war is a game you never win with a horse. This girl doesn't play it. You can see the connection between the horse and the girl, she's basically letting the horse know with her eyes what the horse is supposed to be doing, and the horse is trusting her to know what's best to do. The whip never goes anywhere near the horse, it's basically just an accessory to make a little noise that reminds the horse "my human says I'm supposed to be moving." M.B. said when that mojo gets working it's almost supernatural and shit. I think I'm beginning to see a little of what he means by that.

-- Badtux the Youtube-browsin' Penguin
(And no, I have not the foggiest idea how I landed on this video).

Revenge of the fish

Remember that classic Hitchcock movie The Birds? Well, over in Arkansas they're doing an unintentional remake except with a different species. Call it... The Fish.

No, this wasn't a case of some bubba having a few too many cans of brew. Just call it another example of how man's tweaking of his environment has some crummy effects. In the meantime, if you're boatin' on Lake Chico in Arkansas, I suggest you bring your twenty gauge shotgun as well as your fishin' rod. 'Cause them fish be a flyin'...

-- Badtux the Fish-eatin' Penguin

Zen and Now

Another Jesuit scholar examines Robert Persig's classic motorcycling tome, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Mark Richardson's new book, Zen and Now, examines Robert Persig and the connections between technology and nature...

-- Badtux the Literatary Penguin

Louisiana rejoices

Hurricane Ike appears headed to Texas. Given that half of Louisiana doesn't have power yet from Gustav and without power, you can't pump gas into your cars to evacuate and you can't hear the evacuation notices on televisions that can't run without power anyhow, this is a Good Thing for Louisiana. Not so good for Texas though.

-- Badtux the Louisiana Penguin