In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.
The religious right is motivated by the suspicion that someone, somewhere,
is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.
Evil Spock is an evil Vulcan who occasionally wanders by. While browsing around in the intertubes I found his perfect lover:
Evil Spock, if you come wandering by, this penguin has your perfect eHarmony.com mate for you!
-- Badtux the Matchmaking Penguin
Ground rules: Comments that consist solely of insults, fact-free talking points, are off-topic, or simply spam the same argument over and over will be deleted. The penguin is the only one allowed to be an ass here. All viewpoints, however, are welcomed, even if I disagree vehemently with you.
WARNING: You are entitled to create your own arguments, but you are NOT entitled to create your own facts. If you spew scientific denialism, or insist that the sky is purple, or otherwise insist that your made-up universe of pink unicorns and cotton candy trees is "real", well -- expect the banhammer.
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.
Ha! Thanks Badtux, but Evil Spock's girlfriend might take offense to your matchmaking capabilities.
ReplyDeleteBut does Evil Spock's current girlfriends have the EARS? Or the pasty pale flabby THIGHS (ooooh, how evil VULCAN!). Or the sweet evil smile that says, "I'm about to disembowel you, swine"?
ReplyDeleteThis penguin shall have to summon his mighty waddling hoards to march upon your humble abode and... and... SMACK YOU UPSIDE YOUR CALVES WITH SMELLY ROTTEN HERRING! Yeah! (Sigh... penguins are SHORT).
- Badtux the Offended Penguin
dear Bad Tux, the matchmaking penguin
ReplyDeleteI just found out my "congressionalcritter crush" already is married. y dos ninos.
Is it a sin to have lust in my heart for a seeker of truth and justice? for a man able to verbally disembowel an Attorney Generalisimo in a single 5 mintute session?
Is it wrong to practice writing "Mrs. Sheldon Whitehouse" on my notepads all day?
Dang...Is Feingold still single? You think he would convert to Buddhism?
Well, Evil Spock, does your girlfriend have a pet tribble? If so, why not?
ReplyDeleteAnd say, Evil Spock, what is your opinion of Deep Space 9 and Voyager?
cookiejill: AFAIK, there are Buddhists in Congress. A couple of Hawaiian congresscritters, if I remember correctly. Question is: is Feingold a practicing Jew? If not, perhaps there's hope.
Cookie, pretty much any creature which breathes and is capable of walking and chewing gum at the same time is capable of verbally disembowling Gonzo. Gonzo does most of the work himself. Methinks you need to adopt higher standards for yourself. And yes, I think Feingold would be a good start towards that goal, but this penguin must first investigate.
ReplyDelete- Badtux the Investigational Penguin
Why is a Vulcan wearing a command tunic, when Vulcans were science officers?
ReplyDeleteBecause she's a Romulan plant and a warbird will de-cloak at any moment.
[It's so embarrassing to actually know that.]
Oh, but Tux, before you become the matchmaking Tux, you need to understand the mating habits of Vulcans.
ReplyDeleteDave
P.S. Sheeze, I'm remembering more than I'd like about Vulcans.
Cookie Jill, Feingold is twice-divorced, and, I believe, currently single. Alas, my sister has claimed him as hers. (She'll fight you for him!) She keeps a personally signed letter from him taped to her refrigerator, and affectionately refers to him as "Nuss," because he writes his Rs like Ns.
ReplyDeleteI'm staying out of the Star Trek realm, as I'm already geeky enough...
Mixter
Why are her boobs flopping down near her bellybutton? Clearly the gravity simulator is malfunctioning.
ReplyDelete