I must heartily applaud the Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency for their application of the principle "spare the rod and spoil the child". These pesky children today are simply spoiled and soft. They need to be placed in prisons or shut up in airless rooms and taught their proper place as a citizen of Soviet America, i.e., subjects. Liberty and freedom must be earned, they are not birthrights granted unto us by our Creator, regardless of what some idiot lefties might have written on their web sites (I mean, sheesh, what do men with gay pussy-wimp names like "Thomas Jefferson" and "John Adams" and "Benjamin Franklin" know about liberty and freedom anyhow? Dirty unwashed hippies, all of them!).
I most especially applaud the Imigration and Customs Enforcement Agency for refusing to call in the local Child Protective Services to care for children for whom a guardian is not available. When I was in the school system we were directed that if an unattended child was in our custody for two hours after the end of the school day and no parent or guardian were located, we should contact Child Protective Services to take temporary custody of the child until such time as a parent or guardian were located. But the Imigration and Customs Enforcement Agency wisely regards that as just some sissy state law. They are the Department of Homeland Security. They can do whatever they want to, because, like, they're the Federal governent and, like, they got the goddamn ATOMIC BOMB, kapiche? And if you don't like it, you can sleep with the fishes with concrete goulashes! (Or occupy a clean cell at Gitmo as an enemy combatant, whatever). That child needed to be in a cell. It was for his own good.
Yes, I feel safer knowing that ICEA is protecting me from these horrible children, most of whom are even, like, brown (SHUDDER!). If ICEA does not imprison children, why, why... those hideous little brats might sneak into our bedrooms at night and KILL US ALL! Horror!
-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin
Hello, Mr Penguin.
ReplyDeleteI long for the good old days, when we would take care of the problem children with a baseball bat with nails stuck through it.