Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Wolverines!

This just in: That right-wing spooge-fest "Red Dawn" is shooting a sequel. Since the bad guys of the original story, the Soviet Union, are now, err, sorta defunct, a new villain had to be found for the sequel. After much searching, a title has been decided upon:

Red and White Dawn.

The villains? Canadians. Yes, CANADIANS! We already know that Canada is a fascist nation, but soon they will emerge from their frozen hellhole in the Great White North and... and... conquer us all with their eeeeeevil fascist UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE! The horror, oh the horror!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Added: If the Canada angle doesn't work out, they could shoot a movie entitled "Green-White-Red Dawn" where millions of Mexicans invade, trampling our border guards under their sandaled feet while mariachi music blares and tipping their sombreros at the terrified white citizens of the USA. Oh wait, that's Lou Dobbs' show on CNN, already done, my bad!

8 comments:

  1. Gee, and here I figured that Teh Enemy this time would be Teh Islamofascists...

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  2. Put down the cleaning supplies, obviously you are being overcome with chemicals.

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  3. Clearly you have not been following the healthcare "debate" on Capitol Hill. If you had, you'd know that universal healthcare will send the elderly to catfood factories to be turned into catfood to feed to the elderly who can no longer afford healthcare after universal healthcare passes, and that universal healthcare is fascism and thus evil, and that Canada has universal healthcare and thus is a reeking pile of evil fascism right north of our border. REEEEking pile of eeeeevil! And hey, their Mounties' boots DO sorta look a LITTLE like jackboots, right?!

    I haven't heard a Repuke mention Islamofascists in, like, months. It's all about that eeeevil socialist Obama and his eeeeevil fascist universal healthcare plan. Which brings up the second possible plot for this movie's main enemy, if the Canadian angle falls thru...

    - Badtux the Snarky Penguin

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  4. A remake of "Red Dawn?" BWA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

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  5. Invaded by Canadians who would then subject us all to universal health care if the invasion is successful? One can only hope.

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  6. Costa Rica is starting to look pretty good.

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  7. You're only worried about a good health care plan because you don't want to die and want everyone else to help to pay to keep you alive until you are a 120 and shitting in a diaper again.

    Fuck that, I have no intention of shitting in diapers again, I'll just get dead and be done with it. Death isn't a concept to an omnipresent spirit and I'm due for a fresh new body.

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  8. Yea , a 'great' (sic) movie to remake ! So current to main stream discourse and attitudes and current socioeconomic problems . Didn't I also hear about a remake of that old anti-pot film from the
    30's "Reefer Madness" , so close to real life and main stream problems !
    I do moslty watch escape/mass violence films , but why must we remake them , have we run out of fantasys to portray ?
    a saddened w3ski

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