Friday, September 21, 2007

David Horrorwitch discovers enemy of Israel

This new enemy, which he talks about in his latest email to me begging, begging I say, for me to send money to him that he can use as matching funds to get more Wingnut Welfare(tm) from the Scaife Foundation, is ... uhm ... let's first talk about who it's not. It's not al Qaeda. Not Syria. Not Iran. Not Hamas. Not Hizballah. No. The threat that is so dire, so deadly, that I must, MUST I say, send money to David Horrowitz so he can swing the mighty cannon of his one-man "foundation" into action to counter it is... uhm... Jimmy Carter.

Wha? You mean some wrinkled old peanut farmer from Georgia is a threat to the very existence of Israel?

Apparently so. Seems ole' Jimmy actually is an evil super-villain, Peanut Man, who slides into his spandex super-villain uniform and flies over to Israel every day and.. and.. HURTS THEIR FEELINGS! Why, every day some innocent little blonde blue-eyed Israeli girl or boy falls over dead, clutching their heart, because, uhm, because JIMMY CARTER SAYS BAD THINGS ABOUT THEIR GOVERNMENT!

And oh, that negotiating a peace treaty with Egypt and Jordan thing? All just part of his dastardly plot. Without the Jordanians and Egyptians muddling up things with their bullets or stuff, that allows Peanut Man to swoop in and kill yet more poor innocent little blonde blue-eyed Israeli girls and boys by saying MEAN things about the Israeli government.

I am glad to have heard about that evil super-villain Peanut Man from that great American Hero David Horrowitz who single-handedly takes on evil-doers with his mighty super-powers of... of... BEGGING FOR MONEY ... and will post-forth send him all the money I can spare. In some alternative universe story like the one he wrote, that is. Uhm, David, can you leave the science fiction to Harry Turtledove? His alternative universe novels are FAR more entertaining, and more plausible too.

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Posted by BadTux at 9/21/2007 11:05:00 AM
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3 comments:

  1. The Truffle21/9/07 7:26 PM

    You know, I'm glad that Horrortwit did the old left-to-right switch. Let him be yet another right-wing embarrassment who drives sane people out of the fold.

    Speaking of alt-history, maybe some crazy wingnut will come up with a Turtledove-esque story where Saint Ronnie Reagan is president for life. You know someone's thinking of such a story right now.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous21/9/07 11:20 PM

    If he's working so hard for Israel, why doesn't he ask them for money?

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Truffle22/9/07 2:09 PM

    Why doesn't Horrortwit enlist in the fucking Israeli military, for that matter?

    ReplyDelete

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