I can haz WMD?

The slobbering morons at the Hoover Institute, established by the worst President evah (though George W. Bush may have displaced him), now inform us that... spam and viruses are as deadly as nuclear weapons.

Really? I haven't noticed spam making me glow in the dark. I've never seen spam kill anybody. Spam is like the common goddamned cold, for cryin' out loud -- it's always out there, and it can make you miserable, but you simply don't die from the shit.

But none of that matters to the drooling cretins at the Hoover Institute, cretins so moronic that they propose that KIDS with M-16's be deployed to fight spam. WTF? What goddamned good is siccing the National Guard on spammers going to do? What we need to do is sic law enforcement on them -- and if any ISP's don't cooperate, shut them down. If they're overseas ISP's, cut them off -- no (zero) access to the civilized world from their IP address ranges. I mean, this isn't rocket science, folks. We know how to take down spammers. It's just that they've been hiding behind foreign ISP's. Well, there's an easy way to handle that -- simply cut off any ISP which refuses to cooperate in taking down spammers -- but our backbone providers here in the United States won't do it, and thus far there's no law to make'em do it. But we can fix that. We don't need the goddamned National Guard to handle this thing. I mean, we got tens of thousands of paramilitary policemen on SWAT teams all around the country who can slam through ISP doors with their jackboots to force them to comply with court orders perfectly well, thank you.

So what are the dunce boys from the Hoover Institute up to? Hell if I know. I suppose they needed to write something to get their next quarter's Wingnut Welfare, and this is the drool they dribbled to justify their Wingnut Welfare. But the fact that there's people who might actually take this bullshit seriously -- who think a virus or spam can actually, well, kill people, just like atomic bombs -- sorta rankles this here penguin who grew up under the runway of a major SAC airbase knowin' he was gonna fuckin' die if the Soviets ever decided to actually launch their missiles (we didn't practice duck-and-cover in our city, there was no fuckin' point, we were all deader than Richard Nixon and Zombie Ronald Reagan if the big one lit off and we damn well knew it). Morons. Cretins. Idiots. GAH! THE STUPID! IT BURNS, IT BURNS!

-- Badtux the "Virus=nuke?!" Penguin

Below: A typical Hoover Institute resident scholar performs a study of adding seafood to one's diet, and finds it a bit more difficult than expected...