Friday, August 12, 2005

U.S. government soft on untermenschen

So the United States yanked a Canadian dude off an airplane and deported him to Syria to be tortured. They say that he's a terrorist, but the evidence that he's a terrorist is double-plus top secret and can't even be told to a judge. Sorta like the evidence of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, which, the CIA said, Iraq was just brimming with. The Canadian RCMP (their equivalent of our FBI) says that they've investigated this Canadian dude, a guy by the name of Maher, and he's no terrorist. The United States Government, however, says that's not true, and the judge even put his fingers in his ears and started saying "lalalala I can't hear you!" when the subject of the RCMP report came up, saying that if he read that report, he might actually have to ask questions, and it was his job to rubber-stamp whatever the administration of Mad King George says for him to rubber stamp, not ask silly little questions.

The question of what rights a Canadian passing through an American airport has came up in the hearing. The U.S. government says that foreign citizens have a right to be detained without charge, deprived of sleep, food, and clothing, kept in isolation without access to pencil, paper, and legal resources, and deprived of access to a lawyer. They also have the right to file an immigration complaint in an immigration court. Which, of course, is easy to do when you're being held in solitary confinement without access to your lawyer.

They also have the right to be beat with rubber hoses and truncheons, as long as the beatings don't cause organ failure or death. (Well, occasionally they do, but that's just a "few bad apples"). Why the fine folks in Mad King George's administration just LOVE them darkies! I mean, some people, like Mr. Virtues, pay good money to be beaten by a muscular dominatrix! Why should these untermenschen get free dominatrix service when we good God-fearin' Americans don't?!

I mean, really, we ought to be talking about how soft our Dear Leader is on those pesky terrorists. Why, you know that those terrorists are just overjoyed by all those new rights that the United States has granted to, err, people with no connection to terrorists or terrorist organizations...

Dear Leader, meanwhile, is working on his new energy plan to eliminate dependence on oil by 4920, inbetween ignoring parents of dead soldiers and all the hard work that he's doing on his Crawford hog farm while riding his trusty steed, Sparky. I mean, it's time for the fall pig drive! It's hard work, y'know?

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin


  1. Foreign citizens also have the right to be made to maintain uncomfortable positions at eighteen hours a stretch, to have guard dogs gnaw at their kneecaps, to have electrodes attached to their nuts, and to be left lying in their own urine and excrement after a well deserved beating. (I mean, of course they deserve it; they wouldn't be in detention if they were innocent, right? Right? Come on, I'm trying to hang on to my illusions here -- right?!?)

  2. Oh come on now, you know they WANT to be beaten. Preferably by a black-leather-clad mistress with a whip, the kind that Mr. Virtues himself pays good money to. I mean, some people pay good money to be beaten like that! And here our too-soft government is, giving these terrorists (and, well, not-terrorists) that pleasure for FREE?!

    We just plain need to get with our government and tell them no, it's time to let the rest of us citizens have the same rights as those non-citizens! Why should those pesky untermenschen get all the pleasure of waterboarding?!

  3. Wow! That map to the pig farm is pretty interesting.

    I'm not sure I like the tone of your comment about the beatings and... it's time to let the rest of us citizens have the same rights as those non-citizens!

  4. Don't worry your sweet little heads about it. I'm sure Dear Leader loves us and only wants the best for us.

    - Badtux the Koolaid-drinkin' Penguin


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