Rove Watch: Is a promotion next?

Karl Rove got his annual raise today. Meanwhile, like most Americans, I haven't received a raise in close to 2 years.

Today's White House press conference was filled with questions about Rove. Courtesy of the Applied Herring Mind Reading Cosmotron, I fill in what Scotty McClellan was *REALLY* thinking...

Q Has Karl Rove offered to resign, in view of his problems?

MR. McCLELLAN: Oh shit, why are you asking me? Do I look like someone who has the slightest fuckin' idea what's going on with Turd Blossom? Besides, it's a ridiculous question. Rove can no more resign than Edgar Bergen could resign the Charlie McCarthy Hour. In fact, we're giving Mr. Rove a pay raise and a promotion, you morons.

Q Does he still have his security clearance?

MR. McCLELLAN: I already told you I'm not going to answer this question. Didn't I tell you that? I haven't the slightest idea, and I sure as hell am not going to ask Turd Blossom. He might make me jerk him off again. Yuck!

Q No, they -- I've never heard this before. Have you?

MR. McCLELLAN: The question has been asked before. I already told you that.

Q We haven't heard an answer.

Q What was your answer?

Q There hasn't been an answer.

MR. McCLELLAN: What the fuck about "I'm not answering that question" do you turdballs not fuckin' understand?

[At that point, Mr. McClellan storms out of the White House press room, muttering that he needs to get a job where he gets to answer questions, instead of make up excuses for not answering questions.]

There you have it, folks! The *truth* about what Scott McClellan wanted to say to those pesky journalists who keep, like, asking those *questions*! Next up, I apply the Mighty Applied Herring Mind Reading Cosmotron to a famous right-wing "journalist"...

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin