Operation Yellow Elephant: Las Vegas

The new front in Operation Yellow Elephant is the Young Republicans National Convention, July 6-10 2005, Mandalay Bay Las Vegas NV.

The perfect op would be to put on your old military uniform (for you vets out there), and, holding a pile of enlistment forms, cruise for yellow elephants, and watch the yellow elephants run screaming for cover! For after all, like their Glorious Leader, they know that military service is for people who are, like, poor, or dark, or otherwise not REAL people who by definition are only rich white brat kids like themselves. Fighting is, like, so declasse', like cleaning toilets. They hire people for that sort of thing.

Meanwhile, our brave General J.C. Christian, Patriot, has the perfect bingo card for your next game down at the VFW! Read all about it.

When I walked up to the recruiting station so many years ago, I knew Ronald Raygun was a senile nutball who could get us all vaporized at any time. I knew that the chances of the military wanting a flat-footed penguin were close to nil. But dammit, at least I showed up and signed on the dotted line before the medical people said "Sorry, we don't want you." Not all birds is tha same, y'know. Some birds actually have, like, courage. Unlike Generation Yellow Chickenhawk Elephant, which I'm sure are absolutely terrorizing those aweful terrorists in Iraq that they are always blathering about. I mean, look, what AK47-armed terrorist could ever stand up to their mighty superpowers of fatuous oration?! If they just spout enough hot air, why, I bet all those terrorists will just curl up and die from sheer embarassment at being called a poopy-head doo-doo brain by Generation Yellow Elephant!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin