The new House health reform bill

Here it is, all friggin' 850 pages of the dadburned thing. Basically it does a number of things right, and a few things wrong, a couple of them really wrong. It's not a great bill, but far from the worst bill possible. It doesn't solve the cost problem, but does solve the access problem -- it plugs the Medicaid hole where single adults don't qualify for Medicaid, prohibits rescission, forces insurers to give the same rates to everyone in same age group/geographic area (no more discrimination against women or sick people), prohibits insurers from rejecting people for pre-existing conditions, fixes the Medicare drug program to get rid of the donut hole and negotiate down drug costs, and so forth.

Now, it's all there. Read it. Discuss it. We can talk about the problems this bill has, and it does have real problems. But goddamn it, talk about REAL problems with the bill, not imaginary ones. It pisses me off that I've spent all day dealing with absolute fucking morons who spew out nonsense like:

1. "It's Soviet healthcare." Dude. In the Soviet Union, all doctors were government employees and all hospitals owned by the government. What line in that bill makes all doctors government employees and all hospitals government-owned? There isn't one. Jesus fucking Great Penguin, if you're gonna make some statement about stupidity in the bill, at least make it about something that's actually in the goddamned bill!
2. "It's Canadian healthcare!" Uhm, no. In Canada, each province has its own mandatory single-payer insurance company and outlaws private ones. Ain't one place in that entire bill that outlaws private insurance company or mandates participating in a state-owned insurance company and if you argue otherwise point me to that line. Crap, why do you think the single-payer guys are so upset with the damned thing?
3. "It's British healthcare!" Uhm, no. Fail again. The British Public Health Service is like the old Soviet system. And here ends the list of countries, apparently in the right-wing health care universe there are no countries outside the USA other than Britain, Canada, and the former USSR. I wonder what color the sky is, in their universe?
4. "It's slavery!" What the fuck? Health care is slavery? Do these cretins realize just how fucking STUPID that makes them sound?
5. "It'll cause rationing." Yeah, just like the Swiss and Dutch and German managed competition health care systems that ObamaCare is modeled after (hint: There ain't no goddamned rationing in those systems, do you *really* think anal-ass Germans would tolerate rationing? They'd fucking string up the bastards!). For some reason these fucking morons think that the Swiss and Dutch and Germans can do it, but Americans are too fucking stupid? Why do they hate America?
6. "It turns all doctors into public employees!" No, you stupid-ass motherfuckers, it does not. There is not one single line in the bill that turns doctors into public employees.
7. "The public option will drive private insurers out of business!" Shit, by that logic, Kia drove BMW and Mercedes and Audi out of business, and Kaiser-Permanente here in California ("We're K-P, we bring 3rd world healthcare to you so that you don't have to go to the 3rd world to get it!") drove all the for-profit insurers out of California (Kaiser is not-for-profit and *much* cheaper than the for-profit insurers). Uhm, no. It didn't happen. As long as the private insurers provide a quality option, plenty of people will choose them over a bottom-feeder el-cheapo option like Kaiser or the public option, just like there's plenty of people who choose to drive BMW's rather than Kias (and the freeways here in the goddamn Silicon Valley are proof of that, they're like a fucking plague here, shit!). And if the private insurers don't provide a quality product... well crap, why do we need'em anyhow?
8. "The government will change the rules to benefit the public option and put the private insurers out of business!" Uhm, dudes. Health care is a $2.3 *TRILLION* dollar industry. Somehow I think they have enough money to buy themselves a seat at the table and keep that from happening. I'm more worried about them changing the rules to *gut* the public option, not the other way around -- indeed, the current gutless "public option" proposal will threaten exactly no one because it lacks the scale to do diddly.
9. "It's government, and government can't do anything right!" So say the cretins using a government-developed network to send bits and bytes around the motherfucking GLOBE. Crap, the stupid-ass motherfuckers probably think the Internet is a buncha tin cans and strings, rather than being a government-developed technology that swept all that crappy private-developed shit like X.25 into the dustbin of history where it motherfucking BELONGS. Fact of the matter is that government is VERY efficient at taking money out of pocket A and putting it into pocket B. Medicare, motherfuckers. Less than 3% overhead, vs. 20% for private insurers.
10. "It'll take all our guns away!" What the fuck? There ain't a single mention of gun, weapons, or firearms anywhere in the goddamned bill!
11. "It'll invade our medical privacy!" Hint: Medical Information Bureau. "Medical privacy" ain't been around for a hundred fucking years. Frankly, having my medical records follow me around rather than them being held hostage by doctors whose names I don't even fucking remember sounds to me like a good idea, and I don't have any delusions about the FBI trolling my health records. I mean, fuck, they're already doing that, the MIB will hand'em any records they want any time with no questions asked and no recourse on our part 'cause the MIB is private and doesn't have to comply with any federal privacy laws.
12. "Constitution!" Dudes. Section 8, Paragraph 1. The section giving the government the power to levy taxes for the general welfare. Oh wait, I forgot that the fucking cretins haven't ever read any part of the Constitution other than the 2nd Amendment, and even that is somewhat hazy to them...

I mean, c'mon. This is all that the tighty-righties have? Nonsense? Imaginary hobgoblins to scare people with? These stupid-ass motherfuckers have lost their fucking MINDS! There's real-ass problems with the ObamaCare bill, and all they got is THIS made-up shit? I mean, c'mon. Show the intelligence of a fucking PIGEON, dipshits!

Yeah, I get grumpy dealing with fucking morons all day long. One thing about working for a small startup company -- you don't have to deal with obstinate idiots, because obstinate idiots get shown the door quickly because we just can't afford their stupid asses. I guess I've gotten spoiled dealing with brilliant reality-based people all day long. I mean, Jesus fuckin' Great Penguin. Slavery?!

So I'll talk about the problems with the bill -- especially, why it will NOT bring down health care costs -- later. I just gotta go relax. Maybe take a warm shower. Some soothing music. Some aroma therapy. ANYTHING to get the bitter taste of utter stupidity out of my head. I mean, health care is slavery? GAH THE STUPID IT BURNS! IT BURNS!

-- Badtux the Irritated Penguin