In a time of chimpanzees, I was a penguin.
The religious right is motivated by the suspicion that someone, somewhere,
is having fun -- and that this must be stopped.
In a war for world domination, would Dr. Zaius's monkey army, Evil Spock's radioactive ant army, or this humble penguin's penguin army prevail?
Curious penguins want to know!
-- Badtux the World Domination Penguin
But hey, penguins are kick-rear anti-ship missiles...
Ground rules: Comments that consist solely of insults, fact-free talking points, are off-topic, or simply spam the same argument over and over will be deleted. The penguin is the only one allowed to be an ass here. All viewpoints, however, are welcomed, even if I disagree vehemently with you.
WARNING: You are entitled to create your own arguments, but you are NOT entitled to create your own facts. If you spew scientific denialism, or insist that the sky is purple, or otherwise insist that your made-up universe of pink unicorns and cotton candy trees is "real", well -- expect the banhammer.
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I think those fluorescent pink feet would prevent them from sneaking up on the enemy, but their greatest weapon is projectile defecation.
ReplyDeleteWhat is it with world domination?
ReplyDeleteWe are one, why can't everyone just get along and treat each other and the planet right?
Oh, we wouldn't be able to own Jeeps then because they are hard on the planet.
A little confused are you? Well join the party.
What part of "irreverent silliness" goes *swoosh* right over your head? Hmm?
ReplyDeletePlease. Earth monkeys are nothing to worry about. They're pushovers. It's the extraterrestrial monkeys we need to worry about. Everybody knows that.
ReplyDeleteEvil Spock has
ReplyDeleteInsecticons and Killer Wasps too!
Not only that, Evil Spock has an alliance with
undead superheroes.
Bring on those penguins!
Why not pass the time with a game?
ReplyDeleteMy dear sir, I believe that you have severely underestimated the military effectiveness of my gorrilla army. My crack troops are the finest soldiers on the face of the earth.
ReplyDeleteI have also recently acquired a complete line of fembot assassins from an associate, Dr. Goldfinger. You would do well to reconsider any rash actions that you may have in mind against Ape City on the part of your penguin army.
I suggest a mutual non-aggression pact, in defense against Evil Spock and the scourge of his egg-covered transvestite panda pornography.
One of my many simian diplomats has already signed a similar non-aggression pact with the Pirate Penguins.
Also in my employ is a complete chimpanzee legal staff, who are well equipped to handle any of the possible nasty legal wrinkles that may crop up.
I would have thought the undead, flying monkeys, killer insects, and military penguins all made natural allies. Silly me...
ReplyDeleteEvil Spock suggest splitting the world into three areas.
ReplyDeleteEvil Spock suggests that Badtux rule Oceania, Dr. Zaius shall get Eurasia, and Evil Spock will take over Eastasia.
Check this out and watch who prevails...
ReplyDeleteWho might be surprised...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU8DDYz68kM
Don't know how to link it directly.. sorry about that.
we'll get you for penguin brutality Lurch, mark my words
ReplyDelete