Yes, boys and girls, welcome to today's show WATCH THE ATTORNEY GENERAL! In the left corner: Attorney General Abu "I love torture!" Gonzales, weighing in at a perky 150 pounds. In the right corner: Fun-loving penguins everywhere, weighing at, hmm, maybe ten pounds apiece? So what weapon is Abu going to use THIS day in his war on fun... hmm...
Ah! Give us ten pounds of Patriot Act, and ten pounds of Obscenity Prosecutions! Remember, boys and girls, Abu "I love Torture!" Gonzales doesn't want you to stroke your bones while watching (or reading) some of that nasty "porn" stuff. Well, not unless you're piled naked in a pyramid simulating sodomy while grinning GI's look on, anyhow! And if you DO decide to stroke your bones, remember: your Attorney General, thanks to that fine and tidy "Patriot Act" that lets him spy on anything he wants to spy on just as long as he says "it's about terrorism!", knows every dirty picture that you're using to make things more exciting, and he's COMING AFTER YOU!
So that's today's update in "Where's the Attorney General?". Tune in tomorrow for yet another edition of "How the world turns my stomach"!
- Badtux the Snarky Penguin
My God, man! If we're all choking our chickens, flogging our bishops, honing our bones, milking the lizard, tenderizing the porckchop, punishing the serpent (a favorite in the Bible Belt), spanking the monkey, launching Apollo 11 (???), rewiring the house or saying Howdy! to Thumb and her handmaidens of doom, we'll be too tired to protect our nation those who hate our freedoms.
ReplyDeleteWow, According to Hispanic AG Gonzales, "We can say the PATRIOT Act is working; it has helped prevent additional terrorist attacks."
ReplyDeleteReminds me of a Candadian joke I read somewhere.
Canada: Why are you swinging that swim noodle around?
Uncle Sam: I'm defending us from space aliens!
Canada: There aren't any space aliens here.
Uncle Sam: Right! And if I wasn't swinging this swim noodle, you'd have been enslaved by a space alien army a long time ago!