So Sunday night I was excited about the new Jeep and about going to get it registered the next morning, and slept very fitfully. Maybe got four hours of sleep all night.
Monday night, I slept a *little* better. Got to sleep around 1AM. Then at 6AM... a fucking thundering HERD of cats came roaring down the hallway, over my bed, over *ME*, then back out of my bedroom again. And this thundering herd of cats, I mean must have been twenty cats or more, did it *AGAIN*! Uhm, except it musta been only two cats, but maybe they cloned each other to be able to make that much noise and furor? So anyhow after all the cat fits were over, then TMF parked himself on my chest and started purring and kneading, kneading and purring. Have you ever tried to sleep with a fucking cat shredding your chest? An *EIGHTEEN POUND* cat, with needle-sharp claws? Have you?!
Finally after around 30 minutes of that shit I gave up and got up. So anyhow, now operating on 9 hours of sleep over the past 48 hours. Glad I'm not operating heavy machinery!
-- Badtux the Groggy Penguin
I can soooo relate... on nights when my brain won't shut down, and I toss and turn, the feline boys sleep like little furry angels. When my brain is willing to give me a good night's sleep, there's invariably a cat wrestling contest on the bed, or else Rocky decides to balance his 17 lbs on my leg and do a little dance, purring all the while. Pests. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em...
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you submit to your feline overlords in the appropriate fashion.
ReplyDeleteThe non-sleep part I understand fully.
ReplyDeleteThe dominance of elf-absorbed quadrupeds - not so much.
Head-shakingly,
JzB
SELF-absorbed
ReplyDeleteOh, Jazz, I was having fun unpacking that until you corrected.
ReplyDeleteI think cats can produce the stampedes they do because of quantum weirdness. Cats aren't in any one place until you observe them. Schroedinger didn't pick a cat for his thought experiment by accident.
Update for THIS morning: I'm sleeping on my side. TMF cuddles against me and starts purring. Cuddles against me with his ass end towards my face. While whacking his tail back and forth. WHACK! goes his tail into my face. WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! I grab his tail and try to convince him to do something with it other than whack my face with it, and he shakes his tail loose from my grip and starts whacking me with it even MORE fiercely. By this time I'm well and truly awake, it's 6AM, so up I go. SIIIIIIIIIigh!
ReplyDeleteKaren, ya. Thing is, the furry little bastards keep me sane. They keep me from grabbing an AK-47 and mowing down Republican politicians as a menace to Earth civilization, which would be briefly satisfying to see the green blood spill out of our lizard overlords but then I'd be dead and who would feed and water the cats?
Leilers: It's sorta like my brother, a hulking 6'4" 200+pounder, and his wife, a tiny 5' tall 95 pounder. You know who's boss in *that* household ;).
JzB, you ought to try the self-absorbed quadruped thing, they do wonders for making a man humble. Though I suppose cat hair and trombones are probably a bad combination.
Nans, that's the best explanation I've ever heard for cat stampedes. I'm going to steal it :).
- Badtux the Cat-owned Penguin
If you ever figure out what makes an animal lie down in bed with their ass in your face, let me know please. I have a similar problem albeit one more canine than feline :)
ReplyDelete