The shallow end of the gene pool

These following two stories are from a rural Washington State area where, let us say, the gene pool don't run too deep:

1. A 66-year-old man shot himself in both his legs Saturday afternoon while trying to loosen a stubborn lug nut with a 12-gauge shotgun. And surprisingly enough, he was *not* drunk. Obviously a follower of the Dick Cheney school of auto repair. Remember, boys and girls, you should always use the right tool for the job. In this case, 00-buckshot was NOT the right tool. This clearly called for an RPG-7 AP round, or at least Ma Duce (.50 caliber machine gun).

2. Around 10 p.m., several people reported seeing a vehicle towing a 16-foot boat without a trailer. After following a trail of white paint and debris in the road from the driveway where the boat was deposited, an officer arrived at a junkyard on Arsenal Way, reports said. Two men at the junkyard admitted to transporting the boat to the third man's home, saying they were returning it because he had not paid them for an initial removal service. No word on whether a guy was on waterskis behind it at the time, yelling "Faster!".

3. Man who claimed hands and feet were lethal weapons knocked out by attacker. As one commenter said, "Somewhere in Arizona a village is missing their idiot."

Sometimes the snark just writes itself...

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin