Monday, May 31, 2010

In which I taunt the cryers of "criticism is anti-Semitism!" again

Okay, so Israel just managed to blow away a buncha folks who were trying to haul food and supplies to the Gaza Strip Concentration Camp, thereby keeping intact the blockade they've had in place for the past three years and, incidentally, risking war with their now-former ally, Turkey. And of course the usual suspects start whining, "we're just defending ourselves from Hamas, what do you want us to do?"

What do we want you to do? Uhm, you really, really want to know that, or you just bullshittin' me? 'Cause it's pretty goddamn simple, actually:

  1. Quit bein' a buncha racist fucks. I mean, dude. This used to not be a problem, young Jewish intellectuals were one of the prime driving forces of the Civil Rights movement here in the South that ended state-sanctioned apartheid here, but I swear that every time I interact with an Israeli or one of their apologists nowdays I get the impression that they're channeling General Phil Sheridan when ole' Sheridan said "the only good Indian is a dead Indian." Except substitute "Arab" for "Indian", of course. Shoving the Palestinians onto reservations, killing as many as necessary to get'em to stay in their reservation, and not bothering much with how much food and medical supplies and shit gets in there... dude. That's Sheridan's playbook, we know how this shit works.
  2. Quit whining about how persecuted you were back 500 years ago or some shit. Dude. That just makes you sound like a bunch of whiney-ass titty-babies nowdays. Most folks on this planet today weren't even *born* the last time somebody tried genociding Jews, in the meantime we got genocides like, all over fucking Africa and shit, what makes Jews so much more special than the Ibo, or the folks in Darfur, or anybody else who's being genocided, like, *now*? Get over yourself, sheesh. There's 5 billion people on this planet, each and every one of whom thinks they're just as special as you are, and whining about how some folks back before they were even *born* were mean to you is, like, the lamest whiny-ass titty baby shit like, EVAH! Realize that most people don't give a shit that you're a Jew. Playing professional victim might make you feel good, but there ain't a nation outside the Middle East that has any sort of routine discrimination against Jews anymore, and if you don't make a point of being obnoxious about your Jewishness, most people just don't give a shit. This ain't 1937 or some shit, this is the fucking TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY. People got better things to worry about now, other than a few sad sick fucks at Stormfront but who the fuck cares what they think?
  3. Quit trying to re-enact the Warsaw Ghetto in Gaza, except with Palestinians playing the starring role. Dude. That's, like, seriously unrighteous, and makes you look like a buncha hypocrits.
  4. And while we're at it, quit vaporizing a buncha women and children and regular ole' civilians every time some sick asshole sends a rocket your way. I mean, c'mon. The way to deal with criminals is to kill the criminals, not just some random folks who, like, didn't have shit to do with whatever the criminal done! It's as if the Japanese had bombed Pearl Harbor and we started killing all the Japanese-Americans in retaliation, that's some sick shit, yo! Look, the criminals *want* you to kill civilians. It makes their job of recruiting more criminals easier. Quit giving them what they want, dudes!
  5. Uhm, and look. When you sign a treaty, like that Oslo one turning over the West Bank to the Palestinian Authority, would it hurt even a teensy little bit if you, like, actually did what you agreed to do rather than go ahead and send in "settlers" and armed troops to, like, trample all over your word? I mean, crap. That makes you look like two-face lying bastards, yo. That's no way to make friends and influence people. Just sayin'.
  6. And finally... quit accusing anybody who criticizes Israel doing obnoxious shit of being "anti-semite" and wanting to exterminate Jews and shit. That just makes you look like the biggest flaming asswipes on the planet. Dude. Get over yourself. Most of us just don't give a fuck about what religion you are, we just don't like assholes, and if we tell you that you're acting like the biggest flaming asshole on the whole fucking planet it ain't got shit to do with your religion or ethnicity or some shit like that, and everything to do with the fact that, like, you're acting like the biggest fucking asshole on the whole fucking planet, yo.
So let's recap: 1) Quit being racist, 2) Quit whining, 3) Quit with this Palestinian ghetto shit, 4) Quit killing civilians, 5) keep your word, 6) Quit calling anybody who points out you're being an asshole of being an anti-Semite (you just prove the point when you pull that shit, yo).

Or, to make it even simpler: Don't Be An Asshole!

Sounds simple enough. Well, except the question of what to do with those sad sick fucks the Palestinians if you aren't gonna put them into apartheid-style Bantustans or Warsaw-style ghettos, but hey, I never claimed to have the answers for everything...

-- Badtux the Rude Penguin


  1. A man was shot in the testicles Sunday afternoon after a gun in his waistband accidentally discharged, police said.

    The man was shopping at the Lowe's hardware store in Lynnwood around 12:30 p.m. when the gun went off, said Shannon Sessions with Lynnwood Police.

    Aw nuts!!!!!!!!! Cleanup in lumber.

  2. Dear Mr. Tux:

    Can I call you Bad? I almost always enjoy and agree with your stuff. But (you could see that coming), this post, while on the money, is seriously flawed by the really unnecessary profanity. It's a distraction from the valuable points you make.

    It kinda' sorta' reminds me of Lewis Black. On the Daily Show, he has to avoid profanity. In his live shows (and CD's thereof), every other word is "fuck." It trivializes the word. It should be used as an occasional exclamation point, not as a period.

    Just sayin'

    Greenville, NC

    BTW, I think I love BBC, in a manly way, of course! ;O}

  3. If it was anybody but BBC, I'd think he was making a subtle point with the fuckwit shooting the fuck out of his fucknuts. (I like the word "fuck." One of the things I remember best about the last time I was in New Orleans was all the shops selling that T-shirt that says "Fuck you, you fucking fuck!")

    Israel has done shot itsself in the fucking oil pipe. IIRC, a pipeline running through Turkey is what supplies the Jews with most of their juice. I think they're gonna feel like Ukrainians sucking on the Russian gas pipe soon.

    Note to people who didn't pick up on the Holocaust wordplay there -- yes, I deliberately chose the words "Ukrainians" and "gas pipe" deliberately. It's a fucking snarkblog, so fuck you if you cunt take a fucking poke.

    And yes, "cunt" and "poke" are not typos. Sorry if you read this and get offended, Nunya.

  4. Big Sweetie, do yourself a favor and not even think of going to my site.
    Not good for your heart.
    Tux, your posting while might not be popular is very true. When we realize how taken advantage we are by Israel, perhaps politics might be reconsidered. You know many people think Israel is a holy place and are working towards the end of times.
    Yeah that damn religion thing again.
    I'm so tempted to say something, but I won't.....;)

  5. Now I don't feel so alone in my disenchantment with the way Israel has behaved for the last few years. And I don't think the profanity distracts at all...some kind of verbal venting is obligatory to keep blood pressure from making like a geyser.

  6. I'd like to think this is finally the time that everyone calls Israel and their murderous IDF on their shit, or that Turkey blockades them so they can see what it's like to go hungry and without medicine.

    But we all know none of that is gonna happen. The president's chief of staff, if nobody else (and there plenty of body elses) will see to that.

    I guess finally it'll at least be clear to everyone else that the US and UK are pretty much Israel's only friend. Oh, and Germany. They have Germany by the balls for pretty much ever.


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