Tuesday, December 04, 2007

A well-hung man

Apparently Donnell Williams of Wichita Kansas is hung like a friggin' stallion, given that, as he stood in the doorway dripping from just getting out of the bathtub, clad only in a bathtowel, the Wichita Police tasered him. Apparently police were scared that he was hiding a loaded weapon beneath his towel and was not responding to their demand that he let go of the towel and put his hands up.

Cue the porno music... have we found the new Dirk Diggler? Or just a buncha ball-less cops who confused a guy's, uhm, package, with a pistol and, well, shat their pants in the midst of tasering someone who scared them with the mighty Gun of Fun?!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

13 comments:

  1. Someone, somewhere is no doubt sufficiently inspired to start writing a script for a porn movie based on exactly this incident.

    Don't believe it could happen? There's already "Gaytonumo." Yes, "Gaytonumo."

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  2. you can't make this shit up...heh

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  3. Ah, but what if the guy were gay? Wouldn't they then be justified in using the Mighty Taser of Straightnessihood on the fearsome, loathsome Gay Agenda's Gay Ray of Gayness?

    Just askin'.

    And yeah, these things are getting way out of hand. If used properly, the Taser has a valid place as a (theoretically) non-lethal weapon, but the cops today seem to be using them for the general fun of it. I have a post up about the recent Utah Tasering incident (which I think *may* have been justified, although I'm not going to swear to it because I wasn't there), but it really is getting bad.

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  4. I love the fact he is deaf, to boot. I mean, what's next.... tasering three-year-olds?

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  5. The Truffle said... Someone, somewhere is no doubt sufficiently inspired to start writing a script for a porn movie based on exactly this incident.

    I think Badtux should run a porn movie title contest based on this event. Here are a couple of entries to get it started:

    - Donnell and the Electric Rod
    - Shock Cock
    - Don't Taze Me (Below), Bro'
    - Great Balls of Fire
    - The Towlie Ban (with apologies to South Park)

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  6. The cops are getting out of control. Period. Backed by a government out of control.

    Btw, whatever happened to Mace?

    d.

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  7. Tell you what, I'd hire Karys & Rudovsky and own that city!

    d.

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  8. Well, the cops actually apologized. Seems they lack a package apparently, and when he lurched out of the bathroom and started vocalizing like deaf people do when they don't have their hearing aid in (it's amazing how much of our speech depends on having good hearing), all they heard was "ah-WOO WOOO AAH WOO AH!" and fired before they realized he was armed only with, ah, his Gun of Fun. At least these jittery cops only tasered him. Before tasers, they would have wasted his black deaf ass and swore up and down that they thought he had a gun.

    I swear, cops nowdays have become friggin' nerve-wracked cowards. They are so conditioned to see threats *everywhere* that they're unwilling to take basic risks of the job like, well, like spending time properly evaluating the situation to see whether force is necessary before applying force. I knew a lot of cops growing up, and those dudes had rocks. I mean, huevos the size of goddamned basketballs. Modern cops? Marshmallows, dudes. Marshmallows. Their junk ain't punk, that's for sure.

    - Badtux the Junky Penguin

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  9. Well said BT, well said.

    d.

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  10. BT, the last graf of your most recent comment hits the nail right on the head. Bravo, bird.

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  11. Yeesh. Tase first, ask questions later.

    Mixter

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  12. Ah. You make my day. I'm laughing so much that I'm finally awake. But, it's really not funny, and I cringe at the thought of tasering anyone much less a deaf, almost naked, dripping wet guy. Who of us is next?

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