Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Beware the Penis of Mass Destruction!

Three cops in Boulder, Colorado were so terrified by a man rolling around naked in the grass that they fired at him three times with tasers. Apparently Christopher Dornfield's, err, weapon, made them feel small. Now, my suggestion to those cops would be that, if they feel small, they should try some Viagra. But what can I say. I'm sure they were terrified, terrified I say, that Mr. Dornfield was going to use his Weapon of Mass Engorgement to, err, gay rape them or somethin'?

No no, I'm sure they had no alternative but to use a high tech version of every torturer's favorite weapon, the cattle prod, in order to diffuse the mere possibility of Mr. Dornfield aiming his massive Weapon of Mass Engorgement at them. It's just a matter of officer safety. I mean, what, you think they issue police officers with jumbo-sized condoms nowdays? Why, if they hadn't tasered Mr. Dornfield, he might have aimed his massive Weapon at them and... and... EWWWW!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

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